no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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