Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
