Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
