I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
