Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
