It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
