just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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