He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
