Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
