Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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