Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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