I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
