i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
