I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
