I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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