You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
