And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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