how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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