Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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