Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
