Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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