So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
