he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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