Betty ford says i'm here all night
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
