his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So many bounce houses so little time
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
