if you like me you must not know who I am
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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