I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
