i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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