using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
