Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
