highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
