Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
