I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
