so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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