What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
