finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
