OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
