Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
