it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Too much gin, very little bucket
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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