So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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