He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
