My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
