you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
