I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
