it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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