Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
