So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
