would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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