You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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