you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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