were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Never underestimate the power of titties
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
